The Balls of Steel Award
This award goes to the man who had the audacity and temerity to drop the legend that Brian O’Driscoll and at the same time send Twitter and Ireland into meltdown. Warren Gatland, you’ve got some serious stones. And it turned out that in the end, he did know best. Who would have thought?
The Air Miles Award for Most Pointless Trip
Nominees: Shane Willams, Christian Wade, Brad Barritt, Billy Twelvetrees
Any of the above could comfortably take this award, given the pointlessness of their tours. One appearance in a stuttering back-line and a load of stash is all they… actually they are probably all laughing. Shane Williams wins it, however, for the utter disbelief that spread on waking up and seeing his name on the teamsheet. Didn’t he retire? No, he’s just playing in the Japanese Second division. Get him on a plane!
Photo of the Tour
This is easily our favourite photo from the tour. Eyes on the ball now Rob…
The JCB Award for Services to Trucking
George North has reportedly been offered a free dump truck after enacting the perfect lift and dump on Israel Folau in the second test. Probably. Either way, that was one of the most astonishing things seen on a rugby pitch for quite some time.
The Play through the Pain Award, sponsored by Gaffa Tape
A popular award returning from the Six Nations version of this prestigious ceremony, the Play through the Pain Award rewards those nutters that exemplify rugby players’ abilities to operate at the highest level, while carrying an injury that would have most of us writhing around in pain. This time it goes to Alun-Wyn Jones, who said he barely even noticed that James Horwill had stamped on his face. How is that possible?!
The Justin Bieber Award for Worst Lid
Nominees: Adam Jones, Richie Gray, Richard Hibbard, Christian Wade
Lots of contenders here: the first three names all look like part of the Hair Bear bunch, but this award goes to Christian Wade for sort of growing a half afro, and then combing it on live television in the final test. Time for a trip to the barbers, Chris.
The Alan Partridge Award for Spewing Utter Garbage on Air
Nominees: Stuart Barnes, Stuart Barnes, STUART BARNES
This feels like a disservice to Alan Partridge. Most will agree that one of the biggest blights of the tour was Stuart Barnes’ ‘commentary’ and ‘analysis’ (in the loosest sense of the words), which were almost unanimously met with groans in living rooms and pubs throughout the British Isles and Ireland. Brian Moore on TalkSport was so much more insightful, and if you could manage to get that feed perfectly timed with the video feed, you were laughing. Thank God we won’t have to listen to his drivel for another Premiership season.
The Shaggy Award for Getting Away With it When You Are Clearly Guilty
‘It wasn’t me’… lyrics from a modern classic by the great Shaggy and words that must have left James Horwill‘s mouth a fair few times over the TWO DAYS it took to decide whether he was guilty or not. I doubt it took that long even for Shaggy’s missus to decide whether to ditch him or not. You’re a lucky man, James.
Any suggestion of your own for comedy awards? Give us your suggestions below!
By Jamie Hosie
Follow Jamie on Twitter: @jhosie43