We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time – Mrs Jonny’s Diary

Mrs Jonny

Another fun night at training yesterday, although the motivation required to leave my cosy living room was pretty gargantuan, I can tell you.  As one friend wryly observed, the honeymoon period is now well and truly over…

That said, changing room banter, even amongst the most strapping members of our squad, generally revolved around the utter crapness of having to be outdoors during these long, cold nights so I guess I’m not alone.

Once out in the chilly field, it seems bawdy humour and cheeky flirtation with the coaches are the main motivational tools.  Whilst this is not quite my style, the constant flow of Les Dawson-esque double entendres certainly keeps me entertained.

Everyone’s so chirpy, especially amongst the backs, that it’s really quite baffling, especially for a grumpy old cynic like me.   It’s good, old fashioned fun though – anyone wearing a white top is a prime target for tripping or mud throwing, any excuse to comment on the coaches’ physique is taken up with relish (they love it!) and although this will probably sound pretty tame to most of the blokes reading this blog, who have no doubt been doing this since they could stand, the freedom to look totally ridiculous, red-faced and charging towards a defender with one single purpose – to score a try – is so invigorating.

Two hours of running in and out of cones and throwing a ball around.  Brilliant!  However, it wasn’t all that straight forward…

Once we started practising set pieces I began to understand that the concentration required – along with everything else – is pretty formidable.  I realised at one point, at the bottom of a ruck (again, dammit), that I actually have no idea what I am doing.  I couldn’t even tell you what position I was in!  Somewhere at the back…

Someone told me just to keep to the right of a certain girl and it was all I could do to remember this one simple thing and try and keep up.

Again, probably stating the obvious here, considering the average readership of this website, but it’s no wonder rugby is such an interesting game to watch (and play) – I have only begun to skim the surface of the tactics, secrets and methods employed to fool the opposition and already you can see how the strategy builds up.  Presumably the brain power and mental agility required for all this split-second decision-making compensates for the frequent head knocks?

I have studiously read the BBC’s online guide to the rules and positions, but I’m guessing this is one of those things that requires – shock, horror! – regular practise.  Not exactly my forte, but I will see what I can do.

I felt a bit bewildered by it all really, and ended the session not quite as elated as I’d hoped.  I think I just prefer charging about for now, but it was still worth braving the wintry weather…

One thought on “We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time – Mrs Jonny’s Diary

  1. ‘Any excuse to comment on the coaches’ physique is taken up with relish although this will probably sound pretty tame to most of the blokes reading this blog, who have no doubt been doing this since they could stand’

    I think I can safely say that I have never commented any of my rugby coaches on their physiques, complementary or otherwise.

    Awesome effort so far – keep up the good work. The tough bit is pushing on through the winter months but it sounds like when the pitches get hard in March/April, you’ll be in your element and it will be well worth it. Keep remembering that when you’re lying in a puddle under a pile of people.

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